"Let's go to Starbucks for a Brain Scan"

"Here is the theory no Regional Manager wants to hear. My maternal grandmother died in 1971, and I here allege she was the only person who gave a shit about me, much like Howard Hughes, Jr. and Annette. This is also the same year a corporate history for STARBUCKS begins in Seattle. That may be, but I am alleging it was funded with 'black money' by a certain family I will here call 'Scully' as a nod to the X-File fans who follow me around like the kooks they are."