Welcome to Our Nightmare

12.12.2017

Dear Professor Gottfried:

I tire of typing, so please read the messages below to our newspaper like the Ithaca Times, where some pieces of my writing were posted in the mid-1980’s. When I worked at the Campus Store textbook information desk, I often said, “Carl Sagan does not require a book.” My joke was, “Does he show up for class?” Regarding Cornell Professor Alfred Kahn, my supposedly Republican father, Charles E. Hughes was pleased when I told the man who looked like Howard R. Hughes Jr. this regarding “deregulation” guru Kahn: “I skimmed his book. The guy is full of shit.” All I wanted from my late dad’s office was the Interstate Commerce Commission map and a big ornate ashtray. The problem was, while being tortured by left & right-wind extremists in California, nobody told me he had died.

The absurd spy “blowback” goes right to the door of Day Hall. I’d like to run for political office. Two key points:

1.      No more Second Amendment as we’ve known it.

2.      No more nuclear weapons—period.

Too verbose? I think not. Surely, a few liberal Cornell faculty could donate some money. I’m further sure they are unable to obsess about CNN all day like your Diet Coke swilling president.    

Thanks,

William C. Hughes

Marlborough, MO

12/09/2017

Sarah –

I thought I had a New York City 9/11 witness, but now she’s afraid she would be fired if we continue our conversation. Pardon me for alleging about 50,000 died that day because of Americans and their incessant terroristic plotting that started here, in good old St. Louis. (Lots of toxic stuff was released into the New York air, I’ve learned). They unfortunately only keep track of deceased “First Responders.” When I was e-mailed about Jamie fearing for her job, and life I’d speculate, she misspelled my name! (I noticed this a few days ago. The e-mail is way older than that). The most popular way to do it is “Huges.” The Congressional Record used “Hushes” for William J. Hughes. Why would the former congressman write to me again? As Bonnie Dummar said of my postal letter to Brigham City, Utah: “One is enough.”

Moving right along to what might be a “White Slave Ring” over here in Marlborough, I’d say that would be offensive to today’s “feminist.” This writer always minimizes, but suddenly today after I spoke to you I wondered if the “system” is: Drop that bitch off at the motel office and see if someone claims her. I’ve seen this quaint practice with my own eyes. You’ve come a long way, baby? Not on Old Route 66. Call the police? Not when they might be having sex with whores behind oddly darkened St. Louis County cop car windows. Clean cop? That’s an oxymoron around here.

Bill

12/05/2017

Ms. Penske –

Watching CNN? The old government-newspaperman joke is: “Nothing to see here” when there most certainly is a dead body and smoking gun. My source of evil has been variously nicknamed “Boss Lady,” “Little Darling,” or “The Wicked Witch” and I’m not getting vulgar for a new one while continuing to try and tell people you are not “getting it,” though one guy at KTRS wrote back and stated he did. So did a legislator!

She said what?

She went to St. Petersburg Russia, not Moscow, I was told. That was not what she said before the trip, Sarah. During the Trump march to Electoral College victory? I heard “I’m going to New York” and “The (shuttle) van is here.” Not using the family private jet to look poor, I suppose. I know she has one, because I saw it in the air (D.C.) and on the ground guarded by females dressed in black (Burbank, CA). Why would I make this stuff up?

Trump was, as they say in the detective novel, “set up.”

I gave Ms. Moscow the last of my good “weed” in 1985, but she does not recall ever being at my house. I was asked this: “Can you get some more?” That was the end of my “set up.” After I leveled the “spying” allegation, her mom offered to get me a job at the New York Times and could have accomplished that easily. How? Mom let it slip that Mick Jagger was one of her old boyfriends. Lying? Bill Hughes does not do that. Michelle C. might recall being naked in the gorge where Ms. Moscow never swam if we could find her. (Her family is not surprisingly in the movie business).

Happy New Year,

William C. Hughes