Friday, May 18, 2018

Our Lady of the Good Con Job


May 19, 2018

Dear Ed:

The old lawyer joke is: “When did you stop beating your wife?”

You would think a writer at the RFT would have by now asked, “When did you know who you are?” That would be one day in 1966 when I was sitting on a sewer lid at Melanie & Delaird with a now deceased friend. I had erected a 40 foot radio tower, and when a male adult approached, he looked up and it and said: “You ought to put a motor on your bike.” It was not until 2014 when I saw a photo of Howard R. Hughes, Jr. next to his. Howard made it himself, and later studied engineering.

I also thought it odd that a police officer would assist with model rocket launches by offering the cop car battery. The not so funny today quip was: “Don’t tell anybody.” That same year, my alleged dad would come in my room and say, “If the plane goes down, you’ll need a guardian.” Of course someone stole the stack of TWA envelopes, but I had started to wonder how Charles E. Hughes lived high on the hog by visiting places like the Fontainebleau Hotel in Miami and a luxurious golf course in Pebble Beach. “They pay for it Bill,” he would say. Who were they?

When Charlie lay dying at DePaul Hospital, some old guys came over to discuss where I would go and what would happen to my two alleged sisters if he died. (The “sisters” are NOT related to me). These fellows were not my uncles. They were not truck company owners. They were with the United States Secret Service, and they looked the part. As my college professor Delores Williams put it later, I handled this meeting with, “considerable aplomb.” One of those men said, “Don’t you ever cry?” I did not miss a day of school as Charles battled for his life, and marveled when he was later seen dancing with one of the nurses who cared for him to “Light My Fire” by The Doors. My mother liked their albums, and so did Charlie. There was a whole other side to this man. For that, a movie “ProdCo” must pay me big money.

What do I want? I’d like to go back to Wales where the Hughes family is from. If one movie of mine is made, they would try to make me governor of California. I’m “grandiose?” Not with ripped pants and nowhere to go. My quip I don’t use much lately is: “I write books.” The problem has been the Blum family prevents them from being published. Want an allegation? I think Senator Feinstein is a Russian “mole.” That said, maybe there is such a thing as a “good mole.” You would have to ask her pal Leon Panetta about that. He ran the C.I.A., whereas I have a letter from them that says, “You need to better prove your identity.” That was one time those criminals were right!

I turned down the C.I.A. recruiter in 1975. I published a website for a few years called AbolishTheCIA.org. Most of the page views were on the east coast during business hours. Perhaps some within the agency liked it. Why? As a kid, my uncles told me a story about a guy taking an exam for a promotion. He looked at the test and told the proctor, “Screw you; I’m not taking this exam.” He was promptly promoted by the Central Intelligence Agency. So often the family tale matches what I’ve read in published sources the past 10-12 years. The joke is: “I guess they knew the guy.”

Nobody wants to publish my book. In it, I wrote about the early days of the C.I.A. Their first civilian director, “Wild Bill” Donovan, was supposedly in trouble over a new hire. Spread his reasoning please, because when supposedly called on the carpet by the president he said:

“I know the guy is a communist. That’s why I hired him.”

In the Truman Library I looked at the original memos from Donovan to Truman. They all were short and said, “I think this will be of interest to you.”

I see the problem today as opposite of Truman’s. People are acting like fascists, and I don’t like it. I won’t tolerate it. For example, I like talking to people who support Trump and assorted arch-conservatives. They are allowed to think what they think, yet I am supposed to be tossed to the curb from the Wayside Motel because the guy next door won’t give me the money back from a failed van purchase. My best California helper, before he died said, “Aw, that car won’t make it here.” Jim owned a gas station long ago; I never asked what kind of gas he sold. My Northrop contact has also died, but not before saying, “You need a little more work.”

I called him “The Diode Man” in my illegally seized journals. Why? One day he stumped me by approaching with this line: “What does a diode do?” I should have known a diode is like a “gate” for electrical current. I deflected my ignorance by discussing capacitors with him. That man worked on the B-2 bomber and did not disclose anything “secret,” but others did. Yes, I had a defense industry “fan club” out there, and all of you domiciled in Clayton government buildings should not wonder why. The first guy in the door from Hughes Aircraft now has a name, and his spouse is busily creating a website from his “white binders.” Those are my people, Hughes should have been my company, and that is a FACT.

What do I want out of you?

I think the Saint Louis County Police owe me a written apology, at a minimum. I refuse to say why without legal counsel. I further think it is time for your boss to retire. If I am allowed to run for governor here, as schoolteacher J--- J-----said of the presidency, I might win. In a “Red State,” I might not. Many times in California I was told, “We like you.” Unfortunately, I do not like California at all. Sacramento is the only town I really felt comfortable in, and as Charles Hughes taught me, it’s all about geography. He explained to me why Germans settled in Herman, Missouri. Looks like home! This was the case in Sacramento.

I’m in trouble out there? (These stories are worth money, by the way). Early on, I discovered that like Howard and Ronald Reagan, I liked exploring desert lands. There was a microwave tower on top of a hill near Coalinga, CA where I would sit and reorganize items in my car. Several times a California Highway Patrol car came up the hill, and window-to-window I was asked, “Are you doing okay?” I said, “Yeah, I’m alright,” and the car would go down the hill. Later I realized this is as much “mental health” information they wanted, because CHP might have a thick file on me that goes back to grade school. Scared yet? Later still, LAPD gave me an e-mail address that is my old car model plus a “5.” If I wanted to think like a psychotic spy, I’d conclude that meant “Gimmie five” like a congratulations. Maybe it does; you’d have to ask them.

The sergeant from LAPD who checked on the lack of a bereavement fare at Amtrak I will never forget. He’s from India, yet named “Johnson.” I said, “I guess your family changed their name.” He brought along a young detective, and I do not know why. Many out there just wanted to, as they say in Hollywood, “Meet and greet” yet I ended up sleeping on the sidewalk. If you know anyone in this predicament, look for an old guy I called “The Thief.” He kept encouraging me to apply for General Relief and stay. One day he looked up at me and said: “Trust us.” I did, because he was referring to every mugger and killer in LA!

Why did an Iranian woman give me a hat, and a Swiss woman paid the fare?

As my late dad would say, “I don’t know.” (Now abbreviated by America’s youth to “IDK”). I do know why, and it is very simple. Many in St. Louis must realize and admit this: “I am related to Howard Hughes, and you are not.”

I’ll stay in touch,

Bill Hughes
[16 votes in the 2008 New Hampshire Primary and now I can’t vote? Nuts!!]

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