Granny's HR Dept.

FIAT made up lies and took mine away. Next? The AUDI 100LS, Orange

Military creeps riding around on bikes with terribly low I.Q. scores want to know things, so today we present: Careers Suggested at Grandma’s House

And our second feature is: SpeCIAl  abc Investigation: Bill Cut Himself Cooking at I.H.O.P. in 1974.  Not today.

If I had a Canadian dollar for every time I heard the “cop” suggestion, I would not be here. Finally, I said, in about second grade: “I don’t want to see people shot and stabbed.”

Next?

Airline Captain. I said, “That would be boring,” and there was absolutely not any six foot three guy in the kitchen wearing a cool hat who said, “Damn, he’s right.”

Next?

“Why don’t you join the Air Force? That elicited a “No.”

Next? The relatives knew Vietnam was coming, and…

“Why don’t you join the Coast Guard?” And? “No.”

Bill finally got aggressive and said, “I’d like to be the network cameraman.”

And?

I got the lecture. “It’s hot, the director in the booth tells you what to do, you have to stand for a long time, and you have to join the union.”

And, some guy who looks a lot like Archibald Leach said, “Hell, he should be the director!” 

That’s Cary Grant, and the Malcolm Bliss van is coming when? Oh, that’s right! I worked there, and it closed. St. Vincent’s re-opened? Time for Arts & Crafts with Kay-Kay!

Mafia Time Machine / Paramount Time-Dimension Warp

Don’t ‘ya hate that?

In this not a Face Book timeline, Bill learns to fly the plane during the same year as he drove Dee’s car.

1971 – 1973:  Bill is very careful with one piston-powered engine.

1974 – 1976: Bill has more than one prop going, and remains a good boy.

1977 – 1979: Bill wants a jet, and gets one.

1979 – 1981: Ronald Reagan, in February of 1981, does his best acting job of all, when he says, “That’s terrible news. Tell his daddy I’m so sorry to hear that.”

Can you see the black column of smoke rising from the cornfield? Not like Howard! My charred remains are identified with dental records, and of course my last words were “Aw, shit!" [It never occurs to my non-official cover tormentors that old spies, and Bob Maheu, knew to, “Keep his ass out of airplanes.”]  

Mafia, We’re Back to Reality

They don’t like it, thus the drug dealing.

Then again, what if it’s like the Fiat 124? I recall it spinning around on a ramp that is still there Saint Louis. Same as the airplane, sky pilot?

01.0     Bill exits Westbound 40/64 in St. Louis, but there's a T.O. "problem." I-C-E. 
01.1    “Shit! The car is.”
01.2    “Going off the fucking..”
01.3    “Ice!”
01.4    “No!”
01.5    “Do nothing.”
01.6    “Whee!”
01.7    “Fuck! What now?”
01.8    “Now!”
01.9    “Brake!”
02.0    “Left!”
02.1    "It what?"
02.2    “Whoa!”
02.3    “Downshift!”
02.4    “Clutch pedal”
02.5    “Coast”
02.6    “What the…?”
02.7    I’m the guy going north on Big Bend Boulevard, thinking…

“Jesus, Gayle would kill my ass if I wrecked this car.” 

Four to five 360 Degree “doughnuts,” and he recovered control of the car.

This could have led to…

STATIC—BEEP

“Ladies and gentlemen, I too enjoy flying inverted. Uh, not really, and I’m very sorry if you spilled your drink. We’ll be in LA in, uh, about 15 minutes. I’ll get back to you in just a minute.”

Who done it? Can we stand the holiday drama? ZZZZZzzzzz. "Gravy? Yeah, sure."