Sunday, December 20, 2015

9185-A Heritage Drive

John Heinz III
Piper PA 60 Aerostar

On more than one occasion during 1990 and 1991, the Southwestern Bell Princess phone rang. It had a super-long coiled cord. It would fall off the counter and on to the floor undamaged. When it had static on the line, I said, “Dad, you need a new cord” and I was authoritative enough for him to say, “Which one?” I would diagnose, and off to Radio Shack went Charles E. Hughes. Regarding the cordless phones won at the evil Hooray Casino, now d.b.a. and targeted as, “Hollywood Casino,” I’ll wonder with "Mafia" Don Trump where they went. Cell phone? Not for Charlie. DirecTV? Not for Charlie. Coaxial Cable to deliver sharp golf tourney images? Not for Charlie. This Hughes offered to pay for these services more than once. RING-RING. Excuse me, someone is calling about Senator John Heinz’s plane crash. I’m the guy sitting on the floor smoking a Camel Filter.

Sources: AAR-91-01 and my impeccable, unimpeachable memory.

First, need we ask why “antenna towers” is italicized? Not today, Con~gress. Page 25 is upside down as well, soldier. All Ted Cruz worshiping tidy white aviators and leftist American Airlines union stewards can wonder why with this Hughes. The FAA tower has a “Help Wanted” sign out, I hear. Me? I’m too old for that shit.

To the words of our late Charlie:

“Did he slow down?”

“Did he see him?”

“Was it windy?”

“Why did he not get enough rest?”

“Why so few hours?”

“Why didn’t they call the company?”

Why is pilot spelled “piilot,” NTSB? No spell-checker in 1991?

I thought he was talking about trucker boy’s log!

Not a truck accident? Oh no!

Why does the NTSB manage to work in a mention of a DeHavilland DHC-6-300 flying for Aloha Island Air? As I just told someone, “Olivia was trying to put Howard in the sanitarium. She couldn’t get it done.” Me? The “entourage” shall include an Internist, Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Psychiatric Nurse, Attorney, and Accountant. They will all shout the following line in unison before any important meeting: “Mister Hughes is just fine today!”

On the topic of supposed “security,” you foresee Uzis in a laundry bag? Way too old school, and not needed with the “Royal Pod” nearby. The British Columbia tower mentioned a “Catherine” yesterday, but Charlie would say, “Don’t be name-dropping.” Does Pippa Middleton have a Facebook page? Just wondering, and here’s an early Happy New Year to all local Bosnians and dark complected people who are suddenly not from Syria, Iraq, or Iran. Welcome to Missouri! Just don’t get trapped in a Saint Louis Sex Slave operation. (Officer Friendly, my budget surely does not allow for that). Bust? You must mean Mr. Hilton’s likeness in Agoura Hills, not any here.

Williams Nyra

Feel the need to "Get out of town," like a Spaghetti Western?

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