Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Dan's the Man

Pardon me, that's the wrong Dan.



09.14.2016


Mr. Riggs –

I’m conjecturing that when my DNA matches a famous actor, you will all be embarrassed out there. Several Lindenwood ladies of decades past have already told me, “We don’t go there” which is reminiscent of the Goebel Senior Adult Center outside Los Angeles, where several Hollywood types read my work and said, “This is good. Keep writing.” This has paid nary a bill over the past five years, so why not blame Lindenwood?

If Sandra Lovinguth does not want to talk at the Smithsonian, I have good cause to wonder why. I further suppose Ms. Nancy McClanahan is not available through death or due to whatever “curse” has fallen upon my head. My first and second year LCII advisor Lou Florimonte left all the student & staff names on a Facebook page, yet not one finger has lifted to date for me. As LC advisor, I “fired” Lou in favor of Bob White for years 3 & 4; however I liked Lou enough to call the new (1978) Theater Department custodians, “carpetbaggers.”

“Anything to make a buck” I told actresses, comedians, scene painters, and distant cousins hanging around my 6th Street house. Later, I heard of General Spellman’s greedy march through St. Charles County and said, “Sounds like this guy is a major a##hole.” When the college was returned to its past through the appointment of Dr. Evans as president, I recall saying, “He ought to do better.” Did he? How would I know shunned like a leper with active A.I.D.S.?

Allow me to ask one question and not expect an answer: How did my late father have his marriage annulled by the Catholic Church? The only possible answers are:

A). The parents never had sex, and I’m Howard’s son. (ancestry.com? Not today; not ever).
B). They did have sex, yet it was approved by the Vatican as with Royals, because that is my heritage, and likely not yours. Why not track down more false clues, such as unrelated people calling me “Wilhelm” as a kid. I could show you their South St. Louis County house on which Charles Hughes perseverated. As for nearly running him down on the nearby Schnucks and Dollar General parking lots, I saw it, and I can spell “Nazi.”

Thanks for not helping in any way,


William Hughes

 

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