SIUE Lee

 Was it the heat, or a near nuking in the EU? I'm listening.

06.01.2018

Mr. Schmitz:

I have quite a smorgasbord of legal problems and no way to seek a public office without money. I am not surprised the Governor Greitens affair is failing to mesmerize the nation. Why? Before I was introduced to Porn Actress #2 in California, I had asked, “Why doesn’t the movie have a plot?” The man said, “Why would you have one? They just get on the camera and fuck.” If anyone ever does the “Monster Deposition” I seek, we might well ask why I was asked to make a porno flick featuring my future spouse Gayle and her best friend Beth in 1972. The man who suggested this ended up serving as the City Manager of Poplar Bluff Missouri after taking a degree in Urban Planning from Southern Illinois University-Edwardsville. If I had a campaign and my 33 & 1/3 r.p.m. LP’s back, I had a great bluegrass song on vinyl called “Thirty Miles From Poplar Bluff.” You see, Bill knows how to do it! 30% vote for me there? I win!

I met another Russian spy in Edwardsville for coffee several times. The managers who fired me from Chestnut Health both had degrees from Southern Illinois University-Carbondale. That campus has a tradition of setting fires on Halloween. The National Guard has been called out over this many times.

Back when I got along with my alleged sister who stole my property, I would stop in Carbondale for coffee. There was an older drafty place, and a new “Nazi Hippie” shop. What is a Nazi Hippie? Like Trump, he wants everything his way from the political left. I joked with sister that I needed to meet a “Hairy Legged Radical Feminist Professor.” They have them! I do not understand them. Bill Hughes fails the new liberal’s litmus test on many issues, like starting-up a war with Russia.

Here’s how you do it:

>Airlift some tanks, trucks, and big radar system to The Ukraine.

>”We’re helping with terrorists,” the USA says, like Putin in Syria.

>”The Ukraine invited us,” the State Department should say.

>By coincidence, the Brits and France put on a huge air show.

>”It’s just a routine scheduled drill,” the Pentagon should say.

>Suddenly, a café is bombed, and Gina Haspel put the explosives there.

>”We must crack down on these terrorists” the White House should say.

>The CIA bomb was traced to a Russian mug shot, the media is told.

>Everyone tweets and complains about the horrible Russian terrorist.

>A general says a “buffer zone” must be established.

>Russian land is taken, and the UN goes into a tizzy.

>The EU gets off its ass and sends some troops.

>A B-1 “pretends” to violate air space to observe where and which radars light.

>A brave president threatens to take more territory unless there are concessions.

>Very expensive fighter jets are sent to have fun with “close calls.”

>Radio chatter threatens to start shooting.

>The time-honored “Fuck You” written in black marker is placed in cockpit windows.

>After some “dogfights” with no missiles fired, submarines surface and are seen.

>Our brave president and the U.K. threaten to start shooting.

>DEFCON 3 is declared.

>COG is activated.

>An ICBM is launched but falls harmlessly into the ocean.

>”This is your last warning,” the Prime Minister says.

>Protests and civil disorder is stirred up by angry Russian ex-KGB dissidents.

>Putin is assassinated, and who is the new guy?

>Same as the old guy?

Just another bigger, scarier version of JFK’s missile crisis, and I had nothing to do with it, much like all of the drug dealing around me here in Saint Louis.

That’s just not legal!

William Hughes