This is Fern. She is in jail. Her lazy, no good public defender lawyer will not call me back. I don’t think she will hang herself with a bed sheet, right Sheriff Dean? Geoff is "delusional" and running for president, not me. My VC Co. JailMail was returned. Do you get any mail? FedEx man! Charter man! I have no evidence the cake from Fern led to a Baywatch actress peeing on the front porch of the senior center. None. However, I saw her ass! Oh ye of little faith. I received a lapdance from this Baywatch extra, yet this Hughes did not believe until he saw the photo of her on free & fun public computers. While looking in the Goebel computer lab, I was gifted a large bowl of ice cream. When I asked who sent it, a woman shouted, “Nicky!” and ran off. There was later a “Lohan sighting.” Why? They live there, you idiot, and likely use Bounce dryer sheets, whereas I do not. From dancing with Spuds to Barnes Jewish Hospital. From running on the beach with what’s his name to…she said what? “My dad is wealthy and got me an apartment. You can have one next door.” Missourians, they lie a lot.
That is my GE Laundry Room, and it was a relative of a Howard Hughes buddy of old who was asked, “Why do you stay with his mom?” The answer was, “They have a washer and dryer.” This is not the MGM washer & dryer. This is the Ft. Nagel Laundry Room. Purex is on sale at the Family Dollar. This is a fact. I’m allowed to call the “Starbucks of the Wealthy” and the “Starbucks of the Stars.” At the former, during a rare male movie star sighting, his wife & kids cowered with me while he talked LOUD. She looked at me like, “How about it, Hughes?” Not while “homeless” and sleeping at the bus stop, dear. Are all of Soldier Boy’s toys working properly? There was no scrimping on that D.O.D. budget our boy genius Paul Ryan shepherded through Con_gress. Got a scrap of bread? A grain of Larry rice? I have a Political Science degree too. “I think I’m turning Japanese, I think I’m turning Japanese I really think so.” Maybe I’ll call-in a song request before IllumiNazi soldiers take away free FM radio, like broadcast TV. In 2007, I asked Charles E. Hughes, “Where did you get those bunny ears?” “Radio Shack,” he replied. Later, I’d rent an invisible truck and…
ATTENTION: THIS IS THE REAL HUGHES, AND HE IS SEEKING HOUSING
Several people who frequent the Goebel Center have been very nice to me, yet I seem to still be sleeping in the wild. Therefore, I am offering a business deal to all seemingly nice people. Five percent of the gross from any literary sale in exchange for 30 days in your (or anyone's) outhouse, doghouse, basement, garage, and I'd even settle for a tent in the backyard, as long as I had power via an extension cord and access to the bathroom.
If there is ever a screenplay sale, per the Writers Guild of America "minimum wage," my lucky temporary landlord would pocket a minimum of $3,000. If we move into average Hollywood dollar figures, it would be more like $12,000 for the housing provider.
No sale? The housing provider gets more groceries in the house, home-cooked meals, a clean bathroom, washed & hand-waxed car...whatever. And, if this "earns my keep" but Hollywood is all about molasses, another 30 days could be negotiated.
This California nonsense has gotten severe for a man who has no criminal record, will clear any law enforcement or security background check, and has basically never done a bad thing to anyone, yet I get treated like crap.
As we said in my youth, "Too much drama" (of the wrong variety) around here, yet I continue to seek lights, camera, action, although I don't like the word "action," so I'll say, "GO!"
You know where to find me, and if this sort of "deal" is not right for you, I'd be grateful if you'd ask around. There simply must be someone who will be interested.
William C. Hughes