In keeping with the Presidential Restitution Act of 2016, I’m preparing
urban Baggy Pants Boy’s Selective Service letter that will end his crack
dealing. By e-mail? Someone will tell me how to do it. Big party out in the
country corn field with white lightning and new pickup trucks that have never
done a lick of work? Drunken oral sex? Son, you too are in the USA’s military
soon, while President Hughes watches a big war on a screen my company invented
in 1979. I did smoke some “weed” back then. Probably not as much as Jeb Bush.
Try any “hard drugs,” Trump? Did anybody screen those guys? Are they fit to
serve as County Clerk? Be honest.
Next? Under the
terms of the legislation, Mr. Dewey will be your next president. Truman won?
No, he knew a sufficient number of KC mobsters.
Is there a Nixon in
the house? Disqualified by the terms of the Act as I read it, since Dick tried
again and won in 1968. The 1960 election? Ask Jimmy Carter about it, if he is
still with us.
Al, it’s you next, and
what a fine piece of legislation it is, thanks to that genius, Paul Ryan.
Gore’s too old to serve by then? He has better things to do? The next Gore down
the (D) line will do. James Baker has run to court? Good luck! I’m sure he has
money for endless litigation. Is he still alive? I’ll find out soon if the
Crick.et has not run dry of bandwidth.
Middleton stole my shirt!
©Billghami el Salami, USAF Ret.
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