Monday, May 23, 2016

(213) MellowDrama

Di is not dead? Man, those French intel types are crafty bastards!
Prozac, my ass!
Attention Spooks -
 
What does the sensible writer do when every keystroke is being stolen in real-time? 
You put some on the Google site foreign-born pricks took and won’t give back. It had a complete copy in the draft folder along with photos from my now deceased Star Trek actor-helper. Why did the box go away? Partly because I was “BrainJacked” by your murderous criminals at the Pentagon into remembering the passcode, but forgetting my own e-mail address. A guy named WILLIAM BLUM wrote back to that box, but he’s nobody I ever want to know. Who is P—R----? 
You put some on the Yahoo box CBS “players” wrote to in 2012. KMOX? A shell of what it used to be. [You may now sound the EBS tone, Schlossberg]. I said, “They need the scary tone back.” They put it back, ladies. Is it time for the end of the world yet? That’s the Hughes intelligence world specialty, and as my thug-mailgurl said, “I’m ready to go.” Where are the Glomar-recovered 800 kiloton Russian nukes? Not at my semi-scummy hotel. 
You also save the material on gifted storage devices generously donated by creepy spies. Jason the terror specialist Marine said, “Those will never run.” They lit. They transferred the intellectual property to Bill Clinton’s laptop. [See his comedy video, because the gift-giver of that piece of shit is not seeing mine, nor are you]. Why not kill a “Castle Doctrine” violator spy soon, P--? Calling your “coke cops” yet? 
Also, be sure to write on senior center scrap paper and have it stolen by fascist heroin kops who need a good old Harry Truman nuking. Don’t forget to get it back after the B--- family fails to pay enough to effect your “murder by cop.” You forgot a few pages, deputy. 
FACT: Deputy no name said, “Give me the screenplay.”
FACT: Some lesbian bitch in a brown uniform gave most of it back. 
Want a civil war? I like mine hot. You lose. Got some radiation treatment pills Sal invented? My ex whispered to me about her dad’s achievement during a movie called The China Syndrome.” Recently, I looked up his still marketed antidote on the company’s website. She was not lying.
This writer gave up on the 9th of 10 screenplays. What happened? I forgot. Whatever it was, it motivated me to write down all of the missing scenes and go looking for them in a dozen files. There’s still one I have to flesh-out, but the one that really pissed me off I now think the shithead sheriff in a suit stole. He’s not sitting in his own jail if I’m related to HH? Are you nuts? Speaking only for myself, I’d rather not be tortured ever since Ms. B---------- said, “Be careful around P--.” In cahoots? In shit up to your bulging eyeballs? Sorry, I can’t help with that garbage.
The re-written stolen scene? Here it is. Steal! Steal! Steal! 
Movie deal? No, take the money & run. I’d like to go anywhere that is not soon controlled by Hillary’s gangsters or Trump’s Vegas thugs. Bahamas, Mexico, or Nicaragua? A séance with Howie won’t help, because he figured I could kick your totalitarian asses solo.
 
BH
 
 EXT. DIRT ROAD - LATER
 
The Jeep now hurtles down the road with the Chinese Airman in back. 
CHINESE AIRMAN
I heard an explosion. 
BILL
(shouting)
Who gives a shit? 
Light tosses a candy bar over his shoulder. 
The Chinese Airman catches it. 
LIGHT
Snickers satisfies! 
CHINESE AIRMAN
Where are we? 
BILL
A good question we've been trying to address. Got any gizmos that still work? 
Chinese Airman pulls a device out of his bag. 
Hands it up to Light as he eats the Snickers. 
CHINESE AIRMAN
Check this out. 
LIGHT
What is it? 
BILL
We ain't got one. 
LIGHT
Keep your eyes on the road. 
The device is seen as more EXPLOSIONS are heard. 
LIGHT
(cont'd)
Holy cow! Will it do the laundry too, or just find the joint?
BILL
We need some sort of a decision here. 
CHINESE AIRMAN
How about you stop the Jeep? 
BILL
You got it. 
The Jeep pulls into a small clearing. 
Light tosses the device backwards. 
LIGHT
Nice. I'll describe it to a pencil neck. 
CHINESE AIRMAN
You do that. I'm going back where I came from. 
The Chinese Airman hops out of the Jeep. 
LIGHT
Shooting flares and shit? 
CHINESE AIRMAN
Worth a try. 
Light and Bill watch as he walks into the brush. 
They continue on. 
LIGHT
Onward and upward. 
BILL
Fuck that. Who's shooting at who? 
CUT TO: 
 
 
   
 
 


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