Carjacking is Legal In California (It goes well with "weed")

Governor, I saw it last night, like a Hollywood movie. A wall of cars traveling west on Agoura Road with multiple arguments in progress across all four lanes. The tired HughesBrain does not move fast after a day spent fighting the "asymmetrical civil war," so I thought the following:

1. This is it. The "hit squad" has arrived.
2. Gangland slaying (not me) about to occur.
3. The satellites USA's Space Shuttle dumped out the bay 1981-200? have finally caused mass civil disobedinece.
4. A lot of engine roaring and a second pass later, it seemed more like a domestic dispute with the whole family burning gasoline & rubber.
5. I ate my Safeway corn chips in silence - that's the "key" in Totalitarian California.
6. After a male yelled, "Pull in the lot! Pull in the parking lot!" enough times, a screaming back at him female finally did.
7. I thought surely the "mall cop" who had just admonished your next POTUS over a shopping cart would call their favorite number: 9-1-1.
8. Oh no. Even with a wayward 18-wheeler trucker as another witness, the hollering continued.
9. My phone does not call 911, but there is an 800 number method to call "Patrol" in Ventura County. I punched in the number and listened to the yelling.
10. Finally, two of my beloved MonkeyCop4.0 cars roared past and did what they do well-NOTHING. Nice show, gotta go! WHERE IS HE GOING? WHAT'S HER NAME? WHAT COLOR IS HER CAR? GET HER e-mail ADDRESS. JACK THE PHONE AND GET ALL OF HIS NUMBERS. "Bill, where are you staying?" "When was the last time you took a shower?"

When was the last time you read the USA PATRIOT Act? The middle part is all about TAKING AWAY MY WEALTH. The .gov "inside joke?" All I'd have to do is file a Civil Lawsuit and say, "I am without sin. Gimmie my money." And, the United States Government would have to. That's the way LAWS work, son.

This guy was mumbling all night in front of Stuckbucks, Deputy, but I don't have phone minutes for that. As a bonus, the blond behind him gave me her agent's cell phone number. Got a cig, soldier?